Three Ways You Might Think You’d Be Kicked Out of Goodwill – But Won’t

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As probably any reader of this blog site knows, Char and I are in a band together.  The band is called Vintage – we are a cover band performing hits from the 1950s to the 1990s.  Being called Vintage, we tend to shop, well, vintage clothing stores and thrift stores to find stage clothes.  Tonight, we took a trip to the Goodwill store in Southaven, MS, just outside of Memphis.

I scored on some great vintage style shirts, all priced at less than $4 and in excellent condition.  Char, however, didn’t do so well.  She found some killer boots – but they were several sizes too small.  She did see an interesting ring…. but no one was behind the jewelry counter.  After several minutes of waiting on an employee to show up, I turned to Char and asked her if perhaps it would help if I sang “It’s Now or Never” loudly and proudly right there in the store.  This, my friends, is the first way to not get kicked out of Goodwill, even though you’d think you might.  In fact, as we learned, it doesn’t even help to call for assistance behind the jewelry counter.

clothing
Char is in disbelief that someone would actually wear this outfit.

Char then saw a row of dresses – one of them required a picture.  Thankfully, my cell phone cam was handy for a snapshot.  I have to ask, who would wear this thing out in public?!???!  It’s a one piece jumpsuit with see through material everywhere.  There was this one strip across the back that wasn’t see-through.  What an odd design!  We laughed hysterically at this dress… the second way to not get kicked out of Goodwill, even though you’d think you might… especially as loudly as we can laugh at times.  Enjoy the pic… especially the look of horror on Char’s face as she wonders who in their right mind actually bought this thing at full price the first time around!

All that being said, Char did find one dress to try on.  It wasn’t a Vintage band outfit, but it was a great dress for date nights.  Believe it or not, this leads to the third way to not get kicked out of Goodwill, even though you’d think you might.  It involves what happened in the dressing room… actually, coming out of the dressing room.  Standing just outside the dressing room door, I hear the sound of Char saddened by the fact that the dress didn’t work out, followed by the sound of her putting her own clothes back on.  Next, the dressing room door should open up and Char should come out with the dress on a hanger, ready to be placed back on the rack.  Only, that last part didn’t happen.  Instead, I hear the dressing room door knob turn and yet nothing happened.  No Char.  I hear her slam against the door, trying to escape.

Char slammed through the dressing room door like She Hulk or Wonder Woman.
Char slammed through the dressing room door like She Hulk or Wonder Woman.

The knob turned…. but the door wouldn’t open.  Then, in a sudden burst that conjured up images from my childhood of watching Wonder Woman on TV, Char slammed through the door… and the whole door frame came down.

She was able to escape the dressing room prison cell with just a little effort, and without any harm.  Who knew what dangers lurk within the walls of a store that bears the innocent name, Goodwill.

All in all, it was a great trip.  I got some band shirts, a couple snapshots with the cell phone cam, and a great story to tell the grandkids one day about how Granny broke the entire door frame coming out of a dressing room.

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